gastrict today.. jus kill me larhs.. at first thot it was appendix but then it's not on the right side.. haiz.. gastrict SUCKS!! doc says eat regulary.. if not stomach will hav a hole >.<

tink i did well for prelims larhs.. well.. except for my combined humans.. lols..

English : B3
Maths (e) : A1
Geog: A1
Physics : B3
Chem : B4

if can use chinese.. my L1R5 will be lyk 14!! lols.. quite hapy larhs.. den can minus 2 pt. so become 12!! haha.. tinking of applying for nanyang JC(: try out and see if JC life is suitable for me..

combined humans confirm a C.. either dat or i FAIL!! lols.. can't gt a B cos i need 24/25 for my SEQ for SS.. lols.. hmmm... and if ironically my add maths get lyk A or even a B3.. lols.. dat's will be damn cool larhs.. lols.. den my L1R5 can get lower.. lols.. dat's if a miracle happens larhs.. not dat i din study.. but if my add maths can frm a 19/100 become a A.. lols.. M-I-R-A-C-L-E! so must hope very hard dat i get better den my chem larhs.. lols..

dreaming mode.. lols.. with these results.. i dun tink dat i can be lyk top 10 in class larhs.. lols.. cos of my damn combined humans.. lols.. but i tink for once my L1r5 is less den 20? haha.. so happy!!!!! lols..

listening to PD songs.. lols.. brings back memories larhs.. each one hav their own meaning.. and jamming songs too!! lols.. PREFECT!! lols.. after o lvl.. lols.. tink cannot find job larhs.. cos i wanna go first 3 mths.. T.T...

and the kazhua went SIAO

Jumping rooftops @ 7:35 PM

someone jus take a chopper and carve out my freakin heart

failed my hist. FREAK! and to tink i studied freakin hard for it. bloody hell. what the freaking pt. study just to fail?? even at prelims i still can fail.. and im supposing to be performing my best?? effort is not equal to the results we see.. now i noe why ppl can jus jump down the building jus cos they din do well.. i tink once again out of the 5 of us.. i will be the lousiest again.. or rather as always.. no matter how well i do it's jus not enough..

eyes feel as though i've jus cut tonnes of onions.. im seriously a failure.. be it results or friendships.. y does everyting i do turn out the other way. i shouldn't hav believed ppl too easily.. why did i believe her.. lyk she will ps ppl lyk dat?? wtf.. mayb im jus too naive.. too beliving.. too STUPID! backstabbing?? hah! some jokes and lies ar ejust not funny.. some things are not meant to be joked around.. some lies are jus not meant to be told.. i thrusted u.. told you about stuff and yet in the end.. IT WAS A BIG FAT FUCKING LIE!!

WEILI YOU ARE A FAILURE!! YOU SHOULD JUST GO JUMP DOWN THE BUILDING AND END IT ONCE AND FOR ALL!! NUTHIN U EVER DO IS RIGHT!! JUST DIE

in the end.. i hurt her more than before.. what the point to letting go slowly then.. instead of minimising the pain.. i maximised it.. instead of comforting.. i made her cry even more.. instead of being there for her.. i chose to run away.. instead of helping.. i harmed.. dat's y people despised kazhuas.. im not God.. im not someone big.. im not perfect.. im not somebody.. i can't do things right.. i trust the wrong ppl.. mayb i shouln't hav said anything at all.. somethings are better left unsaid..

and the kazhua is dead

Jumping rooftops @ 6:52 PM

happy:)
today was damn fun.. ended up in the arcade very long.. and a good uncle sponsored my arcade fee.. lols. the catching sweets thingy.. lols.. loads of ppl were staring.. and damn stressed larhs.. lols.. me, chenning janet and qianning kept laughing.. and i tink i was damn high.. lols.. and another funny thing is.. I WON CHENNING IN RACING!! lols.. and to tink i flipped loads of time.. banged into walls and everything.. and yet i managed to overtake her larhs.. lols.. damb weird lorhs.. haha.. got many sweets.. haha.. i managed to scoop many things larhs.. lols.. mayb cos im SKILLED!! lols.. no larhs.. haha..

sad):
lets jus say when there's meeting, there's bound to be parting. the dinosaur wun be coming to sku anymore. can tell he's sad when we shook hands. it's gonna be hard to know that i wun see him in sku anymore. no one to crap and suan. cos. he wun be there anymore. but hols jamming still can see each other barhs(: and that gay. lols.. whom i supposedly owe tabs. no moer of his crap too.

i wun noe wad she's going thru rite now cos im not her. jus lyk PBB barhs. to me. no one noes how i felt and so in this case. i dun tink i really noe wad she is feeling or going thru rite now. wonder wad can i do. same senerio. opp parties now. kinda funny though. the other time i was blogging bout how i cried alone. and she was blogging bout how to help me and now. guess tables do turn around.

well. during that period. i found out that ppl do care bout me. it's me that's shutting everyone out. it hard to "pretend" to be happy when u are not. so crying is nuthin wrong. cry out barhs. i shall bring boxes of tissues for u(: F.O.C.

2 more weeks till my turn to say gd bye. dunno wad will happen. mayb it's me not wnting to tink wad happen. suddenly. i wished that i still had more time. it not lessons or the sku that is clinging on. it's the ppl in it. it's easy to say parting's a prt of life. but not easy to make it applicable. hopelessness is a scary thing. knowing smth is about to come and yet. there's nuthin u can so bout it. helplessness too.

Jumping rooftops @ 10:14 PM

zoo rocks my life(:

it was damn fun.. okay.. mayb cos im still childish larhs.. but zoo seriously rocks.. especially the animals in there.. the sea lions!! lols.. love the animal show and tigers and lions.. not too much for the reptile prt though.. especially the crocodile which turned agressive cos the female croc with him did not wnt to mate.. lols.. and started to swing its tail around.. real agressive and scary larhs.. especially since it's so gi-normous. lols.. orang utans rocks too.. din get to see sunbear though):

shall put the pics soon(: lols..

to my DEAR lobster:
yes i LOVE u.. so much so dat i love u more than the CROC(: well.. actually not.. i still prefer the CROC.. opps..(X haha.. but i missed you.. not being able to tok to u is a daily torture.. or rather.. dun hav ur crap makes me feel weird too..

if u want to know how much i miss you
try catching rain drops the ones u
caught is how much u missed me
the ones u missed is how much i missed you

feel touched rite.. the "letter" to u is much longer den my exciting zoo trip lehs.. awww.. so wad mus u do now?? BETTER WRITE FOR ME A SONG OKAY!! i want a weili song.. haha.. and no using the fadly song tune okay.. dat one is i come out with derhs lorhs.. lols.. and i shall rite a song for you too.. lols.. tmr NEBO!! lols..

same words.. take care of yourshell(:

love ya X3
NAIVE Kazhua

p.s. the naive is there not cos i naive okay. it's to make u happier(:

and the kazhua went to the zoo(:

Jumping rooftops @ 8:17 PM

Jumping rooftops @ 6:40 PM

for once in my life.. i feel dat i will do better for add maths compared to combined humans.. lols.. tmr is E. Maths and geog and i mus pia for the 2 subjects cos combined humans is dead.. so mus jiayou for geog.. and although i tink and hopefully dat i will pass my add maths.. it wun be dat good barhs.. so E maths is impt.. lols.. 2 sub dat i mus work hard for an A.. lols

JANET TAN!! JIAYOU KEAS!! IF I CAN PASS MY ADD MATHS.. U CAN OSO PASS UR E MATHS DERHS.. GAMBATE!! JYJYJYJY.. AIM FOR A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1.. HAHA.. U CAN DO IT DERHS!!

lols.. managed to do more den half of the paper for add maths.. but im lyk so blur larhs.. got one question.. i gave my marks away.. rahhhh.. lols.. din do the second half of the question.. lols.. oh well.. my vectors and RV and basic angles are dead.. lols.. oh well.. and damn the 3 freakin BIRDS in the hall.. so IRRITATING lahz.. lolz.. shoot them down x)

PIA FOR MATHS AND GEOG!! lalalala..


I WANNA BUY A ELECTRIC GUITAR!!

lols.. after exams barhs.. n exams as in O level.. lols..

Jumping rooftops @ 12:50 PM

weather is damn hot larhs.. lols.. and feelin dman sleepy.. lols.. tmr is add maths.. sobs.. ans not to mention SS too.. double sobs.. lols.. fell of the bed tis morning.. killed tonnes of brain cells.. and once again.. i found out that i forgotten most formulars.. damn im screwed.. SS also.. lols..

right now.. the only stuff i hav in my head are the sec 3 topics.. lols.. sadly.. none and i mean NONE of the sec 4 topics are in my head.. lols.. mayb cos i was sleeping in class.. >.<

love angels and airwaves loads.. lols.. but if only blink 182 did not break up larhs.. it is still the best when mark hoppus, tom delonge and travis barker were together.. lols.. MUSE also rocks larhs.. haha.. metthew bellamy.. legend.. lols.. aim for my gibson guitar and fender bass.. and a jamming studio.. lols..

and the kazhua went back to books

Jumping rooftops @ 5:55 PM

dad took away my books... -.- hu eva heard of a parent stopping a child frm studying.. lols.. oh well.. i'll get it back in one hour so shall jus "relax" now yarhs.. lols..

mayb im becoming a NERD lols.. studying is my FAVOURITE pasttime now and it is wad im doing everytime.. lols.. dad once said.. i wish u were more serious in ur studies.. and now he wished i will turn back to the old me hu is happy-go-lucky and not always with a textbook.. oh well.. kiasu-ism.. lols.. i wun lose out tis time.. haha..

let's see.. 50 mins more b4 i get my books back.. haiz.. i WANT my BOOKS back!! rahhh...

lols.. quite true actually.. haha.. haiz.. i dun wanna be a nerd!! haiz haiz haiz.. penut butter strawberry jamming.. lols.. how many more mths b4 we can go to Bug-is again.. haiz..



add maths is dead.. DEAD DEAD DEAD so is SS.. haiz.. so many formulars.. and the damn trigo!! especiall the angle thingy.. dunno wad it's toking bout larhs.. stupid quardant or wad.. haizz... shall go grab my books back..

and the kazhua went to grab its books back

Jumping rooftops @ 3:51 PM

Jumping rooftops @ 7:04 PM

for once.. i din go grp study or study with frens.. or rather no one asked.. lols.. it feels kinda weird.. especially since i've been going grp study frm lyk sec 2?? lols.. well.. it time to get used to it.. only went out for drill on tues.. the rest of the time is mugging.. well.. speaking the truth.. i hav NEVER studied so hard b4.. lyk mugging and only stopping for meals and limiting myself to 1 hour on the com.. wow.. and i found how little i knew actually.. lols.. but i prefer studying with ppl.. more fun and at least i wun feel lyk im dying or going crazy..

after lyk 2 day of add maths.. i still tink im screwed.. and to tink the first paper is ADD MATHS... faints.. yes i noe i had the timetable for lyk so long and i ought to notice it earlier but.. woah.. imagine the shock when the first paper is ur worst paper.. lols..

luckily mr lau told us the topics combination for geog.. it is really and seriously COMBINED not at all lyk mid year.. if he din tell us.. i tink im screwed.. confirm will fail derhs..

mugging is NOT fun or easy without frens.. haiz.. should get myself out of the house later.. if not im really going to go crazy.. haiz.. if jus a prelims can get me tis stressed.. i tink im seriously NOT cut out for JC life.. haiz.. it is only the prelims larhs.. not even the actual o level.. rahhhh... i tink i FINALLY noe the meaning of STRESS.. haiz.. save me!!

T.T

Jumping rooftops @ 3:24 PM

went for drill with sq 2 ytd.. a.k.a. janet's sq.. and to me.. it was the best sq in the competition.. there was smth dat makes them stood out frm the rest.. it was their team sprit.. it was smth dat was missing in other sq.. to me.. being the best in drill is not all to winning.. it is the bonds.. the togetherness.. even if the whole team is very good in drill.. without the bonding, the contigent will appear to be not together. on the other hand, even if a contigent is not dat good, with the team sprit, it will be the best down there in the parade sq.. dat's wad make pioneer team stood out frm the rest.. we were not the best down there. but i tink it was our never say die sprit and our togetherness.. look at our impromptu.. we screwed up rite.. but it was smth dat makes us hold on and never say die..

popping by for trainings, i saw many things.. there are the sq dat are good in drill but dun hav the team spirit which makes it as though they are not doing the drill together and thrry do not atand out.. and "depressing" squads which are sad to say quite up to standard in drill but the morale to do it is not there and they look dead and not motivated..

depressing talk and drill do not go well together.. they break the morale and can u imagine.. hot sun.. 3 hours of drill and then a deporessing talk abt how they had not improve and wad the ldr wnt to see.. if i was the ppl sitting down there, i tink i will be damn hurt larhs.. it is as though i jus wasted my time there and seriously.. i can tell that they hav put in their best.. it is hurtful and i dun tink it motivate them to do better or improve.. i tink i will cause them to look more dead..

to me..they do not know the true meaning for drill com anymore.. well.. granted that drill is bout dicipline but the true purpose for the competition is to bond together.. im sure it is not to uphold the standard of drill in 5th coy or to cope with the shortage of company DI.. many lost the meaning.. in order to win.. or to outshine the rest.. they hav by-pass the true goal and the true reward.. it is the nice memories of training together.. a time of bonding.. drill trainings should not be all bout drill.. to hav a good contigent.. the contigent must first be bonded..

afterall.. whether you lyk it or not.. u are "stucked" in that sq for the year.. until the ldrs step down.. so y not bond now.. if not wait till when?? and how to work well together if the sq is not bonded?

well.. hopefully the sq will realise that the true reward is not the title of the champion of the drill com.. but the bonds built and the good relationship with the members.. sadly.. up till now.. the rest still do not notice it and hav it.. which makes me wonder.. was is their aim for the competition.. is it to win.. or to jus hav fun and do it as a sq together.. the true winner is the sq that managed to bond as they hav found the true meaning and understood it..

Jumping rooftops @ 11:21 AM